


What if?

by Zsadistwhore



Category: Queer as Folk
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-14
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2015-07-26 22:14:46
Rating: T
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,007
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7925084/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2008683/Zsadistwhore
Summary: What if Justin didn't leave with Ethan at the end of 2.20? Just a drabble. T for language. Kinda angsty, I guess. New chapters! What if based off the conversation with Brian/Justin in 2.20.





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: This came about from me yelling at Justin to get his ass back into Babylon after leaving with Ethan (how I _hate _him) at the end of 2.20. This is my first QaF fanfic and the first one I've written in a while, so please be kind in reviews. Constructive criticism is always welcome, as an aid to bettering my writing.

Disclaimer: I don't own QaF (as much as I'd like to). No infringement intended.

I've been thinking about adding another chapter to this for a while (different (better) ending to another scene) and decided that if I get 5 reviews which, at the time of me writing this, is only one more. So if you would like me to write another one shot in the same style, review.

(Set from Brian's point of view)

Seeing Justin not only kiss Ian, Ethan, whatever his name is, but actually leaving with him, hurt more than I ever thought it would. I knew Justin would never leave by himself, so I had to push him off Mt. Kinney. I had to let him see me fucking Rage. Otherwise he would have stayed out of some misguided sense of obligation and he wouldn't have been happy. So I was really doing it for his own good.

Not wanting to let anyone see how hurt I was, I instantly reverted to the Kinney survival method-fucking and getting wasted. I put my mask back on, (both literally and metaphorical) and started dancing with the closest hot guy I could see. After a couple of minutes, I felt familiar arms snake around me from behind. Not believing (not wanting to believe, to hope) it was Justin, I tried to pull away, but to no success. The arms just tightened. I turned around to tell the would be trick to fuck off, I came face to face with Justin.

"Did you really think I would leave with Ethan, when what you can give me is worth a thousand; a million times more than anything he had to offer?"

I didn't reply, couldn't reply without sound like a muncher or Emmett. So I did what I do best; let my actions speak for me. I grabbed Justin's wrist and dragged him, not to the backroom, but back to my, _our_, loft.

A/N: I wrote this in about 10mins at 12.30am, so yeah.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Based off the conversation between Brian/Justin in 2.20 (the first part is taken directly from it.) Not beta-d, so all mistakes are mine etc. I'm English, so I apologise for any English-isms.

Disclaimer: Don't own. If I did, season 5 would have ended a lot different.

"He loves me."

"Your dreamy eyed school boy."

"In ways you can't."

"In ways that I won't."

"He told me that I'm all he wants."

"They're still using that one?"

"It's more than you've ever said."

"And it's more than I ever will. So, ah, what the fuck are you still doing here?"

"Would you care if I wasn't?"

"It's your call where you want to be. You decide."

Brian tried to concentrate on his work, but he couldn't stop the conversation with Justin from repeating itself in his head. Truth was, he did care. He cared a lot. He could never be the perfect boyfriend, the boyfriend Justin deserved though, so what was the point in telling him? All it would do is break Justin's heart just that bit more when he screwed up, which would inevitably happen.

Brian, needing to get out of the loft and away from Justin, stood up, and without a word to Justin, left the loft, slamming the door behind him. His destination was Babylon and his intent was to fuck as many guys as possible, so he forgot all about sunshine smiles and blond hair.

Brian returned to the loft hours later, pissed off, high as a fucking kite and so drunk he could barely stand. His plan to forget about Justin backfired as all he'd seen at Babylon were replicas of Justin. He instead proceeded to get so shit faced he could barely remember his own name.

Deciding undressing seemed too hard at the present moment, he just face planted the bed, not registering that the lump in the bed that he landed was Justin, fast asleep. It was only after said lump made a rather irritated sound (Brian's ears didn't seem to be working properly, so all he could hear were vague noises, instead of actual words.) and pushed Brian off him, that Brian remembered about Justin at all.

Annoyed that once again Justin was in his way and stopping him from doing what he wanted, he began his drunken tirade, his brain not filtering what his mouth was saying. "You're not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be with the fiddler. And I'm supposed to be at Babylon, fucking guys, not at home, finding you in my bed. You were never supposed to stay. It was supposed to be one fuck only. Only you kept coming back and, as I liked the attention, I let you stay. What a fucking mistake that turned out to be. I never meant to care about you, but one day, when I wasn't looking, it snuck up on me. BAM! Like that. And I was going to tell you after Prom, but you were injured and I didn't. Then you met the fiddler and fell for his pretty words, so there's no point telling you now, not when you're leaving anyway. And I want you to stay, but I can't tell you that because you deserve better than me, better than what I can offer." Brian exhausted himself with his speech and promptly fell asleep.

Justin listened in disbelief, not sure he was hearing everything correctly due to how badly Brian was slurring his words. But he definitely heard Brian say he wanted him to stay. Curling up next to Brian, Justin fell asleep himself, a satisfied smile on his face, as he vowed not to let Brian push him.


	3. Chapter 3

Justin woke up before Brian and lay in bed for a while, still wearing the satisfied smile. He was too excited to stay in bed for long, _Brian cares about me, he really cares, _so got up with the decision he was going to see Ethan and tell him he'd changed his mind, that he was staying with Brian. Justin never wanted to end up with Ethan, not really. He just wanted Brian to finally admit that he felt something, anything, for him and hoped for force Brian into it, when faced with Justin leaving.

After showering, Justin looked in on Brian, who was still fast asleep, snoring slightly. Figuring he had a good few hours before he awoke, Justin let the loft and headed to Ethan's, he hesitates to even call it that, apartment, wanting to give the good news to Brian when he finally woke up.

Whilst Ethan didn't take the news as well as Justin'd hoped,, "_It was a drunken tirade. He doesn't mean it. He'll have forgotten all about it in the morning and go back to being the guy you want to leave", _Ethan did finally accept that they were finished and nothing he could say would convince Justin otherwise.

Having been gone barely an hour, Justin decided he still had time before Brian woke and so went to the Diner to have breakfast. After finally finishing all the food Deb pushed on him and promising that yes, he and Brian would be at the family meal, Justin returned to the loft. Being too impatient to wait for the elevator, Justin jogged up the stairs and was met with Brian throwing his stuff of out the loft.

"Brian? What-what are you doing?"

"I thought it'd be obvious. Saving you the trouble of having to clear out your crap from _my _loft."

"What?" Justin was more than a bit confused. Here he was, all ready to tell Brian Ethan was history and Brian was throwing him out? What had happened between Justin leaving the loft and now?

"That's what you're here for, isn't it? You went to tell Ian how Brian just doesn't care about you and that you want to live with him happily ever after," voice dripping with sarcasm, Brian turned to gather up more clothing in his arms before turning back to face Justin, "and don't bother denying it. Michael heard you tell Deb you'd been to see him."

"Brian, what are you talking about? Yes, I went to see Ethan, but only to tell him to fuck off, I'm staying with you." With that, Justin started gathering up all his belongings and pushed past Brian into the loft.

Seeing Brian was about to say something and not really wanting to hear it, Justin interrupted. "Last night you said it's my call where I want to be, that I have to decide. I've decided. I want to stay here, with you. You are not pushing me away, not after everything we've been through."

Having retrieved all his belongings and returned them to their places, Justin picked up a sketch pad and sat down on the couch. He refused to respond to any of Brian's attempts to get his attention, but did notice the small, happy, smile on Brian's face, just before he announced he was going to take a shower, alone. Justin smiled to himself, promising himself that he would tell Brian about his drunken ramblings, but not before seeing if any more secrets came out when Brian's drunk.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This is an alternative continuation of chapter 2. This hasn't been beta-d and any and all mistakes are mine.

Brain woke with a groan, momentarily confused as to why there was a marching band playing in his head. But then the events of last night returned to him. The conversation with Justin. Going to Babylon. Seeing Justin everywhere. _No, not Justin. Poor imitations. _Landing on Justin. Confessing to Justin how he really feels. Shit. Did he really do that? Hoping against hope that Justin hadn't heard it, he slowly turned over to look at Justin. He found him awake, propped up on pillows, smiling that damn sunshine smile. So yes, Justin had heard it. Whilst trying to come up with anything to say to rectify the situation, Justin leaned over and kissed him, before heading to the shower, casually throwing over his shoulder, "I'd thought I'd go see Ethan today."

In the time it took Brian to process that sentence, Justin had already entered the shower and turned the water on. _This is why I don't do feelings, _Brian thought angrily. _I confess to the twat how I feel and Justin's still leaving. Fuck it. Fuck him. I don't need anyone. I'm Brian fucking Kinney for God's sake. _

Brian was still trying his hardest to convince himself he didn't care that Justin was leaving, when Justin out of the shower and re-entered the bedroom.

"I need to tell him I've made my decision." Justin continued, pulling clothes on. He disappeared into the kitchen, returning shortly to tell Brian the coffee's brewing and he's headed to work.

"That nothing he can offer even compares to anything you can," Brian heard Justin call out, before the sound of the door slamming shut.

The door crashed open seconds later and Brian found Justin opening the elevator gate. Grateful he didn't have to chase him down, Brian grabbed Justin, spun him round and pushed him up against the nearest hard surface.

"You're staying?"

"I'm staying."

Needing to only hear that, Brian bent down to devour the mouth of the man he might just love.

Reviews help feed the blot bunnies living in my head.


End file.
